THE MULTI-DIMENSIONAL BENEFITS OF
GOOD MANNERS
Good manners compliment the more compassionate and respectful lifesyle we hope for.
“Hi, Janice”.
'Now, Randy, you know you don't address Scott's mom by her first name.” my mother
would say.
“Hello, Mrs. Hocker”, I'd say as my face turned red.
Of course, this played right along with the 'Please and Thank you” reminders I would
hear from both my parents, as well as other relatives.
Returning to the olden days of the previous century when I was raised, as many of you were
as well, we were taught manners. We were to address all persons with respect such as
“Mr. Smith, Mrs. Smith” etc. To show appropriate appreciation for receiving a
gift or a meal was all part and parcel of the teachings as well.
I don't think there is a human alive over the age of 24 that would not like to see the
phrase “Yo dog, wassup?” eliminated from the language of our young people.
Although 'Yes sir” and No Sir” may not become the norm, the simple salutation of
'yes' or 'no' and 'hello', etc. would still be much improved over most of today's
greetings from those who will someday be our nation's leaders.
But how would manners relate to a more humane or compassionate world for our next
generation to consider? Well, those who are taught good manners will recognize that they
play an integral part in living a more compassionate life. It wouldn't be good manners to
pull in front of that car making a left, or to exclaim your anger with the person who just
took up two lanes or grabbed the last pack of gum. Thus, it would also not be in good
mannerly form to do harm to any living thing - after all, good manners is based on respect
for all. That is the multi-dimensional benefit of having and stressing good manners into
your children and students.
It is a consistant & humbling means of showing each and every person that, when
addressing or interacting with all humans, you must display your gratitude and respect.
It's a civilized means of showing respect. In most all cases, this is simply respect or
compassion
COMPASSION
Taking this one step further, when you have a solid basis of
practicing good manners and you find youself in a situation where proper etiquette is more
developed than what you are accustomed to, you would find it necessary to ask questions so
as to avoid any harmful or embarassing actions on your part. You wouldn't want to sit down
to a full course meal if you had never experienced this ritual.
This should also fall into place when becoming a good responsible guardian for your pets.
Unfortunately though, all too often, it doesn't at all. It would not be appropriate or
respectable to provide your new pet with less than what it deserves or with inappropriate
care, so it would be wise to gather the necessary information you would need to give the
newly adopted pet more condusive accomodations. But, the majority of Americans convince
themselves that caring for a pet is just so simple and therefore refuse to ask questions
of anyone else for fear of appearing stupid. It's a topic almost as volitile as politics
and religion in mixed company. It doesn't make sense. Politics is similar to religion in
that it's based on preferences and faith. Being a responsible pet guardian means you are
taking a life into your care. . Being a GOOD guardian for your pet is not based on
'opinions', but on facts. Facts that, when ignored, can and do cause most of the problems
we see in today's pets with the increased number of dog bites, insurance companies
profiles selected breeds, etc. People who are respectful of other living beings - those
who are seen as well mannered and caring individuals, are much more likely toshow a more
compassionate means of caring for their animals.
Dogs and cats are not pieces of luggage that we leave outside in the elements or disopose
of simply becuase our lives have changed or becomes too inconvenient, but are living
beings. Beings that can't speak out. Yes, they do a good job of communicating to us, but
most humans are so uninformed when it comes to animals, they simply overlook it.
So, when one is really a well mannered person, the expectation of their actions would be
that he/she would take into consideration, all that should matter to the person or persons
or animals that are being addressed or handled. Consideration for feelings, comfort and
appropriate treatement. Appropriate being what is best for the party or animal being dealt
with - not necessarily what the person feels is best for them. That is respect. That is
kindness. That is responsibility. Those are all good manners.
I'll just assume that someone who addresses others with the dignity and respect we speak
of here, such as 'please', 'thank you', 'Mr.' Ms. or 'yes sir' and 'no sir' is not going
home in the evening and spouting obsenities, abusing other people or harming an animal.
They have the respect of other humans and animals to be dignified and offer proper
communications and subsequent treatment thereof.
A good example for this would be a young boy is fortunate enough to adopt his first dog.
Horses are meant to meant to roam and graze over large parcels of land. They love to run.
This also applies to dogs, with the simple difference that dogs have been domesticated for
ten's of thousands of years.
Keeping a younger dog in a kennel during your absense and duing potty training, is
considered acceptable. But, once the dog is fully grown, the same kennel may be too small
for it to recieve the necessary exercise required by such a dog. Just as allowing any dog
access to your back yard during the day when at work or school is considered acceptable
and appropriate, sentencing a dog to a life of being outside and alone is not. There are
many reasons found through solid research studies to support this. It's no longer a matter
of opinion, but is a solidly proven matter of right vs wrong.
So tying a dog to a post or limiting its space to a dog run, would certainly NOT be in the
dogs' best interest for good mental or physical health. Even allowing the dog to roam
freely around a properly fenced back yard without any socialization with other dogs or any
human family members is also in complete disregard for the needs of the dog. The dog needs
companionship and socialization. The poorly thought out excuses for doing any of
these things to a dog are given by those who have chosen not to consider any of the dogs'
needs. Those humans have even mistakenly assumed that, as a result of these actions, they
could somehow benefit from these accomodations. In other words, it is clearly those who
are uninformed and more self focused who would assume these limited situations are
acceptable.Simple lack of thought or intellect.
INTELLECT
It's unacceptable when having guests, to allow them to be uncomforable or feel 'left out'
in conversations or activities during their visit. We are taught to be kind, welcoming and
to make them feel comfortable during their time with us. To allow an injury or even harsh
words would be totally out of line with the teachings that accompany good manners.
People with a good base of manners would never dream of purposely doing harm to another
living being and would go out of their way to avoid placing them in the way of harm. It
does tend to reflect a more compassionate means of living and treating others - at least
human beings. So, I wonder what would happen to those who simply toss a pet outside and
leave it there for the rest of it's life. These decisions are not made on the advise
they've received from a professional or by reading a 'how-to' book from the library. They
are totally based on a lack of information they have on the It has been shown and proven
over recent years that dogs who are only kept alone in a back yard or tied to a post will:
* suffer from anxiety and do much more damage to property and his or
her surroundings
* become more anti social throughout this type of treatment - resulting
many times in the relinquishing of said pet to the local dog pound. (excessive barking at
night, uncontrollable digging and destruction of surroundings, constant jumping and even
escaping in an effort to find anyone who will provide him or her with the attention they
require.)
* will be much more likely to suffer from unrecognized ailments such as
infections, viruses and other injuries for extended periods of time. The worst part of
this is that when ultimately seen by a vet, the cost to correct the ailment is now in the
hundreds or even thousands of dollars and the human decides to have the dog euthanized in
order to save money. Clearly, had the human noticed this red eye, ear infection or swollen
leg 6 months earlier, the vet would likely have been able to correct it with a simple
vaccination and a few pills of anti-biotics.
* almost certainly be expected to protect the property in the back yard
as well as the residents of the home with no training or guidance of any kind. Yes, the
dog will bite someone in the near future, but it will not likely be an unwanted intruder,
but more likely be a guest or utility man who is welcome in the yard, but nobody ever made
it clear to the dog as to what to look for. Another poor excuse to have the poor dog put
to sleep. The same dog is also the neighborhood nuisance for barking throughout the night
- barking which the owners have, over time, disregarded due to its' consistency. Most
importantly, even if the dog were to recognize an intruder who has gained access inside
the home to burglarize or cause harm to the residents, there is no way to gain access for
the dog, so protection of the most important commodity on the premises - the residents- is
simply made impossible. All this is a simiple lack of common sense.
COMMON SENSE
Countering the previous with the more compassionate as well as educated means of caring
for the very same dog by allowing it limited access into the home, one hour before
bedtime, giving it some affection, checking it for infections or injuries, (not necessary
to provide free-reign throughout the home or access to furniture, but provided with a
blanket beside your favorite chair for that hour and then sleeps in his or her special bed
near the back door until you wake up the following morning.) this dog will be more likely
to do much less damage to property, will certainly not be a ngihttime nuisance with
constant unnecessary barking, retain good health from receiving the appropriate attention
and have teh ability to truly protect the residents from any unwanted intruders. Don't
think for a moment that, once inside the house, they can't recognize or identify an
unwanted intruder who is prowling outside.
There are many reasons why humans feel that their particular pets are best left outside.
They range from ALLERGIES, SMELLS, to NEWBORN BABIES and feel that having a TIED UP DOG up
is perfectly acceptable. In today's world, there are few if any honest reasons for
keeping a dog outside. Ignorance is the only one that comes to mind. Any
person who is knowledgable or the least bit compassionate would not do this. Yes,
there are acceptions to every rule - the liklihood that you are one of them is almost non
existant.
Clearly, allowing your pet dog access inside the home eliminates
the problems people see by locking them outside. Humans are healthier when living
WITH pets. Pets that live inside with them. It calms them and reduces the chance of heart
attack and high blood pressure. It builds stronger immune systems - especially in young
children. It allows the human to recognize the gift they have been given in friendship and
loyalty. Most importantly, the inside dog can protect the family in almost every situation
that arises, and cannot when restricted to a dog run or especially when chained to a post.
Good manners simply plays a part in the humane treatment
of animals, or, doing the right thing. Regardless. |
