Today
we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense:
Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure on
the brink of the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories
helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over
Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always
fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies ! (don't spend more than you
earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and
it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological
Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including
body piercing and "new math."
But his health declined when he became infected with
the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In recent decades
his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned
but overbearing regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health
rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate,
a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired
for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer
aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a female student was
pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to
professional sports. Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup
of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge settlement,
Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of
developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets,
rocking chairs and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife
Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility and his son, Reason. He is survived by two
stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few
realized he was gone |